Oriented or Not, Here We Go!

So... today was orientation for Smush's first year of school. Tomorrow is her first day. It's just a half day - 8:30am to noon, but her first day nonetheless. Photo Phriday will be delayed until we get that first day of school picture! I am thinking, at this point, that she is handling this much better than I. Unless, of course, she's not. I've noticed that she keeps a lot inside. This sometimes makes it difficult to really tell how she's feeling. She also has a really good social laugh that she pulls out when she thinks she should laugh... anyway...

Orientation didn't really orient me much other than letting me get a good view of what her classroom looks like, where her cubby is, and that while there isn't a really good "spinny" thing in the playground, there is a seesaw and she likes that. Her teachers seem nice enough. One has a lot of experience, one is young and actually had the head teacher when she was in nursery bet. I am actually quite relieved that we got Morah Judy as I had met her at the Open House and felt like she might be a really good match for Smush. I have also heard good things about how she handles children who might need extra work b/c they catch on pretty quick. We think Smush might be like that.

One relief is that there are many other children in this class who have like-minded parents as us regarding food and food choices. This makes the snack issue much easier and we have already decided that instead of each of use sending in an alternative snack we are going to pool together. And, when the school director heard we were considering this, after speaking with one of the parent's in our class who actually owns a health food store, she is considering getting the entire class's snacks through him so there is no alternative snack, just the one, that is healthy, whole grain or fruit and not packed with high fructose corn syrup or hydrogenated fats, etc. So nice that a few waves can encourage the sea to swim more healthily.

What am I afraid of? It's just school. I managed to turn out okay, as did Hubby... millions of children do it... but yet... now, as a parent I know I want to do what is right, what is best for my child. She is a wonder. She is so creative and a thinker and I just don't want any of that stifled by a system that wants her to conform. Is it because I read too much? Probably. Do I think I could do better at home? No, not right now. Certainly not with Mr. Squiggly around! Mr. Daredevil who has no fear and regularly unlocks the door to walk to Grandpa and Omi's when I am barefoot and not ready to go out, or am cooking something that I can't easily walk away from the stove! Plus, it's not that I don't have faith in the local education system, it's just that you hear all these stories about children being left behind, or not encouraged...

I really do like the idea of home schooling, but I also really like the ideology and methodologies of Waldorf and Montessori. Neither of which are options right here right now. And, so, for now we are a HANC ECC family, for better or for worse, right now hoping for better.

Finishitis

I've been very busy finishing stuff up. I finally got to the point where there were just too many unfinished things going on so I had a case of finishitis which is uncommon but definitely appreciated. I had started the Who? hat way back in June as I wanted to see if it would be a good car project. We drove to Lancaster, PA (in the beginning of July) and back so there was a good amount of knitting time there...well, it was a quick project and was done well before we even left... except for the button eyes!
which you can see, there are 10 owls (note for a long long time.... until I was actually sewing them on I thought there were 11... and so I had 11 sets of buttons which because they are so small was no easy feat to find!)

and, then ultimately after nixing one set of "repeats" I thought I was good to go with my 10, but you will see one owl sleeping... I am not sure I will be putting on the last set of buttons. We'll see. I am kind of liking the sleeping owl. That and the last set were actually beads and I had trouble getting my needle through them... but I coulda' kept that a secret and you'd be none the wiser... and, of course, you need the modeled shot.


Then, there's the needle roll I made for someone on Ravelry as a Random Act of Kindness (RAK). I have been practicing a bunch of stuff on my sewing machine. I had a great idea for a DPN needle roll, but felt I needed to do a "normal" one first, so this fit the bill!


it was a lot of fun to make and I think it was well-received by it's recipient.

Then.. there was the project that I have been working on for a long long time... a vest for Smush. See, I found the perfect pattern (but didn't look at yarn type) then, was at a LYS closing w/ Smush and let her pick out her favorite color to make it with... or maybe I had her pick out the yarn and looked for the pattern after... doesn't matter - the project called for fingering weight yarn and was for an infant. I figured oh, to make it fit Smush I will just use worsted and make the largest size on the pattern... well, I had bought 2 skeins of Cascade 220 Washable Wool for this. I figured, 5T = 2 skeins no problem... Luckily Ravelry has a function that enables you to look for a yarn that someone else might have bought and luckily someone posted the dye lot and luckily that someone was willing to sell it to me for this, because even though I made the piece with 3 skeins, well, lets just say it was a great experience with learning about gauge and swatching and sizing because this thing is big enough for her to wear probably when she's in high school - it fits me! And, it could be a little longer, but there was no way I was going looking for another skein!



But, wait, there's more... like I mentioned earlier I have been sewing a bit. Last night I finished this off - it was mostly done, just the buttonhole needed to be sewn, and the buttons sewn on. Well, I had a buttonhole lesson yesterday and last night... DONE!
voila! finished Phoebe bag! It came out a little smaller than I had anticipated so I have already got the next bag project lined up and sitting on my desk waiting to be cut and sewn. I had made this for a specific purpose but ultimately it's too small so I just get the chance to make a new bag... Not such a hardship since I am loving both this fabric as well as the fabric I got for the new one!

And, there are a couple more things getting finished, so stay tuned!

Photo Phriday

This is the product of giving an inexpensive child branded digital camera to a 3 year old. Smush took this with her very own camera. I think she might have even taken the picture of Squiggly in the previous post as it came out the folder that I think is her pictures. Pretty good for a little one, no?

There was something...

that I really wanted to blog about. Yesterday. And, of course, there wasn't time, so I thought for sure that I would have no problem remembering whatever it was. Yeah. Right. So, instead I give you this:
contemplation.

In case you don't know us IRL you may not realize or know that Squiggly gets into everything. I don't think I have really blogged about this too much, but here is what I can tell you. I have the latest in designer kitchens... holding my two ovens shut I have a ratchet strap. On my dishwashers I have clip locks that go onto my countertop. On many of our light switches we have lovely red covers that lock with the light in either the on or off position, whichever you choose. And, not to be left out, I have an industrial looking locked box around our thermostat. You know, the kind that they put in office buildings so that random people can't change the programmed settings of the building. Yeah. One of those. It matches my living room decor perfectly. I'd post pictures of all these baby proofing things, but it might make me cry.

On another note altogether....I will be trying out something new... Photo Phridays... so... check back tomorrow!

So many emotions...

Wow. This has been a weekend of just one thing after another. First off, I should say, thank G-d, we are all fine in our little world, but the bigger world is a mess. Here we are in the actual month of Adar II when we celebrate Purim and are supposed to be happy, it's Adar! This past week has shown mass destruction, horrific terrorism, and the news that my 102 year old grandfather is dying.

Personal investment in three major events is a lot for anyone and I am just your average mom trying to hold it together some days. One of my girlfriends from high school is living in Tokyo with her family and they are living through some difficult times in their adopted nation. Thankfully they have been able to keep us all updated on their situation via Facebook, but that doesn't make it any more daunting for them to go on daily. While I am not intimately involved with the family killed in Itamar, I am an Orthodox Jew. How could I not be enraged/terrified/saddened deeply/shaken by the horrific murder of 5 civilians in their sleep, killed only because they are Jewish. What did a 3 month old baby do, even if the politics of her parents are one way or another?

Thankfully my maternal grandfather, while sad, is not the same kind of sadness for me. He has lived 102 years, a rich full life, but the last couple of years have not been kind. In his 90s he was widowed and actually attempted to live on his own before it was decided for his own safety (he burned a few too many things in the kitchen and set off his apartment's fire alarm a few too many times) that he should live in assisted living. He was a man of few words (possibly b/c his wife spoke often loudly first) but he had two daughters, one of whom I proudly call Mom. He had five grandchildren, two of whom I call brother and eight great-grandchildren, two of whom I proudly call Smush and Squiggly.

He gave advice (marry someone Jewish was the most important in his words to me,) he grew tomatoes for as long as he and my grandmother lived in their house in Lynbrook, NY. He knew about the sports records for all my alma maters and even the institutions I taught at. When others were wondering where Robert Morris University was, he proudly told me that they had been to the NIT. He read the papers and knew what was going on in the world, and I wasn't allowed to bring up Social Security with him after awhile because while I would never say he shouldn't continue to receive his check, I was never able to convey that financially he had already received way more than he ever put into the system and that he, and others like him, were the reason I didn't think it would exist by the time I retired.

The last few years have not been kind. For awhile he remembered my name and even Smush's, but by the time Squiggly was born, even my name escaped him. My mom's name also locked in that space taken over by old age. The last few years, though, have afforded us the opportunity to hear more of the stories of his youth and that he lived as a widowed, senior citizen about two blocks from where he grew up and attended elementary school is amazing to me. His time in the war, as a bachelor, courting my grandmother. Stories that never were told as a child to me, but shared later have a way of rounding out the person that I call Granddaddy. I haven't been to visit him in awhile. More than a year. Some may say that is sad as he lived so close by, but to be quite honest, it hasn't been my grandfather sitting in that recliner for some time. You can call me a bad granddaughter if you must, but in my own way I have been protecting my memories.

I remember seeing my paternal grandmother one last time in the hospital dying when I was 12 and it was not how I would ever want to remember her. Luckily I have been able to re-order those memories and I know that is not what I think of when she first comes to mind. My paternal grandfather died suddenly and so I didn't see him in the hospital in that way, in a way I was spared that image as I was flying home for my winter break, planning on seeing him in the hospital, but I didn't make it in time. My maternal grandmother had been functionally ill for sometime so while it was not a surprise to hear of her passing, there was no hospital stay to visit through. One of our last visits with her I recall her being so kind to my new husband in a way that she typically hadn't been to me. It made me smile and certainly helps me remember her more fondly. These images are what I am left with and I prefer the kinder, gentler images to remember.

I don't know if it's because my career has been based in images, the persistence of vision a staple of my adult life, or if it's just the way I am wired. Images can stick with me for a long time and shape how I feel or think. I am troubled for long times by the violent images I am exposed to by the media and I worry that my children shouldn't be exposed to too much either, for fear it will affect them long term. As it is, Smush remembers everything she is told and even stories she has heard just once become repeated if they strike her fancy. She has such a recall that we have to be quite careful what we say around her and she is only three and a half. (She still tells me that I should put Squiggly back in my stomach even though he is already 20months and she was only 2 when he was born - everyone told us that she would never remember life before him... I am doubting that!)

So, this week, this weekend have been a roller coaster for certain. Right now I am just holding it all together and hugging Smush and Squiggly a little tighter, a little longer, a little more often. Life continues, it is still Adar, we should still be happy. It's just a little harder to find the things to be happy about. For me, they are all upstairs in their beds, and that's where I am headed, too.

More Schooling thoughts...

We've chosen a pre-school. I should say it actually chose us. Or, really, my inability to manage life with two children has chosen a pre-school. I wrote a bit about schooling and choices previously. I have this really big issue with the fact that the schools (at least in this area) have turned Pre-School into daycare. While I do understand that I am extremely fortunate that I am able to stay home with my children, at the same time there is no reason why a four year old needs to be in school 5 days a week from 8:30am until 2pm. Smush will be in school for the rest of her life after this (unless I figure out a way to make homeschooling work for us.) It makes me want to cry. No matter how good the teacher is, no matter how much fun she'll have, no matter how much free-play they say they schedule into the day, it's still regimented school. Sigh.

As for homeschooling I really wish I could make it work, but I just don't think with Smush and Squiggly being so close in age. In addition, he is so into everything and needs to be watched pretty much the entire time he is awake. So far, this week alone I have prevented him from climbing into the 20 gallon fish tank we have in our kitchen, stopped him from climbing over the gate we have at the top of the steps to the basement, grabbed him as he worked his way out of the shopping cart seat (yes he was buckled in) and many more things like this. He is 19 months, he understands what we are telling him, but he is still into everything. EVERYTHING. As it is I know Smush gets frustrated that I can't finish books I am reading to her because I have to grab him or pull him into the den or just hold onto him, which then causes the book to get shoved to the side. When we are all playing together it's fun, but when Smush wants to do a project or read a long book, it ends up being relegated to his nap time and I don't think that's fair for her at this point. Future potential for homeschooling is still there, just not at this time.

So, this fall, Smush will join the legions of "back to schoolers" and will head there herself. The big question is why do I feel so guilty about it, and why is she so adamant that she doesn't want to go to school or to grow up? Peter Pan, where are you to answer all these questions?

BIgger kids... bigger problems...

not that I would call my kids "bigger" because I know that most people who say things like this mean older kids, however, in my case bigger is the correct term... as in Squiggly got a little bigger... and now he can reach the door knob to the bathroom... and has the strength to open the door... and can now freely go in and dip his hands in the toilet bowl whenever he pleases... and, don't bother suggesting that we keep the lid down, this child knows how to lift the seat...I wonder if he'll be potty trained before Smush.... now I need to get some hooks and eyes on the those doors... that's going to hamper the potty training... yikes.

Smush is THREEEEEEEEE!!!!!

all I can say is, WOW... where did the time go...???????
(actually her birthday was Sunday - not sure why I didn't post this then - I certainly planned on it!)

talk speak

I've lost my voice and sound like a frog. Or like a relation by marriage Reva G. if you ask my CuteBoy. Smush wants to know why I lost my "talk speak. Gotta love the logic of an almost 3 year old!"

School Days...

Smush is going to be 3. I can't even begin to believe this. 3. WOW!!!! Not so long ago she was just an idea and now she is 3. I am hoping that certain things will happen soon, by being a BIG girl... first of which is potty learning. She certainly knows how to use the toilet, it's just a matter of doing it. Of course, out of the mouths of babes... the other day I manage to get her to sit on her little red potty to take care of some business and as she is sitting there she says, with a twinkle in her eye and a huge grin, "Can I have a present?" Basically meaning, okay, I sat on the potty, I didn't use my diaper, what are you planning on giving me. We are prepared for this. For peeing on the toilet or potty she has been getting pieces of a clock puzzle toy. She has the base, and numbers 1-4. But, this was big, it was #2, so I gave her a book that I had bought a while back that I had wanted to give her but wanted to save for an occasion. This was that occasion.

Smush now has the book "Knitting Nell" in her collection. This is the third of 3 knitting or yarn/fiber based books that I have found and given to her for different reasons. The first was "Flusi and the Sock Yarn" which is put out by Regia Yarn Company. Lastly we have a really cute version of Baa Baa Black Sheep that shows the sheep knitting gifts for all the other farm animals, as well as providing wool for the master, the dame and the little boy who lives down the lane. Whenever I see books like this I buy them for her, put them away and then give them so her as new books need to be added to the rotation. I haven't figured out yet what types of books to be looking for for Squiggly. I'll have to work on that.

Anyway, back to the topic at hand. I had an interesting phone call tonight and thought it was a good opportunity to share some thought on schooling. Smush is still home with me. Many people ask us when she is going to start school. As if she won't be spending enough time in school when the time comes! I don't really understand this pushing kids into school earlier and earlier. When we went to school we started w/ Nursery School which was a few times a week for a morning or an afternoon and we were 5, I think. Then we went to Kindergarten. Smush will be 3 in 2 weeks. There are people who can't understand why she hasn't already been in school this past year. Ummmm... so someone else can change her diapers and watch her hit milestones? So she loses the joy of free playing and no set schedule to prevent us from going into the city or the zoo, or the carousel?

I tell you, the looks we get when it comes out that she isn't signed up to go someplace in the fall... Whoa, you'd think we were going to be messing her up for the rest of her life by not sending her to an expensive pre-school program where she might be told what colors to draw with and which page to draw on. I don't think so. Not yet, at least.

The phone call, thought, was intriguing. We haven't really discussed what school we will be sending her to when the time comes. I suppose we should start talking about it as the fall of 2011 is out there and usually signups are the spring before... Anyway, our local Yeshiva (religious school) has been holding some focus groups to see what parents are looking for in an elementary school education for their children. There are many different types of yeshiva schools, including co-ed and separate gender. Then, within the co-ed schools there are some separations when the children get a little older for different subjects.

I had often thought that the joy of an all girls school would be that not just for the Judaic subjects (which is why schools in the yeshiva world are separate gender) but for the math/science classes. I struggled mightily in math all through school and I wonder what might have been different, or if it would have been different, had I been in an all girls environment. Who knows. However, the literature does point to stronger math and science skills in those separate schools. But, it would mean busing to a school outside our little community here and I don't know if I want to do that. Of course busing is a whole other issue that I hope to write about soon as it is going to be on our local school budget ballot. More on that later. It's late and I need to get going!

I forgot...

like usual, to take pictures of the things I made and sent off in Knitter's Coffee Swap Four! So, I will have to do the next best thing and link to what I sent Jodi. There's a funny thing about us being partnered.... she lives around the corner from where I lived in Chicago, of course, I left Chicago's Lakeview neighborhood in August of 2000 for Boston. At the time I barely crocheted - mostly baby blankets, and using yarn from big box craft stores... A lot has changed.

Anyway, literally days after I had sent off my last Knitter's Coffee Swap box, over a year ago, I found the perfect fabric to make a project bag or something from. I wasn't 100% sure I was going to do the swap again, but since I enjoy a good cuppa Joe myself, I figured worst case scenario, I would make something for myself... Instead, I joined the swap again, and made a project bag out of the fabric. I realized after the fact that since the fabric was so light colored that it would be a much better lining, so I dug into the fabric trunk, realized I had some brown striped wool left from a pillow I made and that it matched quite well w/ the coffee fabric. I still have some coffee fabric left, maybe enough to make a new handle holder for my kettle... we'll see.

My next sewing project should be a cover of some sort for the tub spout... Smush insists on sitting right up next to it in her tubbie time... and occasionally knocks her head on it, nothing serious yet, but why wait! I tried to purchase a plastic one at Target that had a cute firefighter duck on it, but, of course, it didn't fit our spout...

nap...

let's play Smush's favorite new game... Nap... we find a spot, any spot, it could be the floor, it could be a bed, it could be the sofa... we lie down and for about 3 seconds... we nap. yep. 3 seconds. if that. Luckily she takes a real nap of about 1hour15min. mid-day... because these play naps, well, they don't add up to anything. Okay, off to nap...

random thought on Smush...

In our dining room we have a somewhat largish table. It's a rectangle. There is some other furniture in there as well, an antique buffet, a china closet, a section of a couch... and of course, chairs. You can't exactly have a dining room table without chairs. We don't have a matched set or anything, actually three are my old kitchen chairs (pre-marriage) and were actually our desk chairs growing up as kids and the other five are from my in-laws. Smush loves to push one chair, any one of them, around the table like she is an Indy driver and somehow is going to win a race if she can get the chair completely around the table. I understood it more when she was first learning to walk and needed something to lean one. Now that she runs everywhere... Well... it's just pretty darned funny. Especially when she hits another chair, or the couch piece and can't go any further. As if her engine has blown up and the race is now over, or she has to pit and pit row is closed.